Dana Carvey

Character: Pistachio Disguisey

Brent Spiner

Character: Devlin Bowman

Jennifer Esposito

Character: Jennifer Baker

Harold Gould

Character: Grandfather Disguisey

James Brolin

Character: Fabbrizio Disguisey

Austin Wolff

Character: Barney Baker

Edie McClurg

Character: Mother Disguisey

María Canals-Barrera

Character: Sophia (as Maria Canals)

Robert Machray

Character: Texas Man

Michael Bailey Smith

Character: Henchman

Rachel Lederman

Character: Texas Wife

Mark Devine

Character: Trent

Kenan Thompson

Character: Kenan

Jay Johnston

Character: Rex

Jessica Simpson

Character: Jessica Simpson

Jessica Lee Keller

Character: Group Dancer

Vincent Riverside

Character: Henchman

Mark Ginther

Character: Henchman

Carrick O'Quinn

Character: Henchman

Mitch Silpa

Character: Henchman

Virginia Hawkins

Character: Interview Woman

Jonathan Loughran

Character: Security Guard

Ted Rooney

Character: Security Guard

Brandon Molale

Character: Doorman

Erick Avari

Character: Cigar Maker

Phil Jones

Character: Businessman

Michael DeLuise

Character: Businessman

Larry Cedar

Character: Businessman

Andrew Shaifer

Character: Liberty Bell Security Guard

Vincent Castellanos

Character: Art Dealer

Roger Mussenden

Character: Waiter

Al Goto

Character: Ninja Warrior

Simon Rhee

Character: Ninja Warrior

Kevin Nealon

Character: White Collar Executive

Bill Cho Lee

Character: Mongolian Elder

Chao-Li Chi

Character: Mongolian

Steve Gormley

Character: German Businessman

Christel Smith

Character: German Businesswoman

Ava Metz

Character: Another German

Bo Derek

Character: Herself

Barry Bernardi

Character: Bernardo

Brian Catalano

Character: Italian Officer

Gabriel Pimentel

Character: Boxing Dummy

Martha Del Rio

Character: Puerto Rican Housekeeper

Guelmarí Oppenheimer

Character: Waitress

Tracy E. Wilson

Character: Female Partygoer

Patricia De Leon

Character: Waitress

Phil Fischer

Character: Bully

Steven Hack

Character: Chemistry Teacher

Dane Morris

Character: Young Pistachio

Bryan Jeffrey Price

Character: Jock

Andy Morrow

Character: Captain America Kid

Naya Rivera

Character: Captain America Kid

Julius Ritter

Character: Captain America Kid

Brighton Hertford

Character: Captain America Kid

Sandra Lindquist

Character: Bartender

Eugene C. Palmer

Character: Chef

Leland Crooke

Character: Appraiser

Mike Johnson

Character: Constitution Security Guard

Michael Lee Phillips Jr.

Character: Constitution Security Guard

Buddy Bolton

Character: Abe Lincoln

Stuart Quan

Character: Ninja

Spencer Sano

Character: Ninja

Hiro Koda

Character: Ninja

Johnny Nguyen

Character: Ninja

Yoshio Iizuka

Character: Ninja

Ronn Surels

Character: Ninja

Andy Cheng

Character: Ninja

Steven Ho

Character: Ninja

Tony Wilde

Character: Doug

Berglind Icey

Character: Big Bottom Girl

Leasi Andrews

Character: Big Bottom Girl

Anna Marie Goddard

Character: Big Bottom Girl

Theresa Madelin Lin

Character: Big Bottom Girl

Adrian Armas

Character: Group Dancer

Gustavo Vargas

Character: Group Dancer

Paul Benshoof

Character: Group Dancer

Oscar Orosco

Character: Group Dancer

Andrea Bogart

Character: Group Dancer

Paulette Maxwell

Character: Group Dancer

Paula Abdul

Character: Choreographer (uncredited)

Lisa Foiles

Character: Lisa (uncredited)

Jesse V. Johnson

Character: Thief (uncredited)

Shane Lyons

Character: Shane (uncredited)

Michael Johnson

Character: Himself

Cole Sprouse

Character: Young Pistachio

Dylan Sprouse

Character: Young Pistachio

Jesse Ventura

Character: Self (uncredited)