Peter Falk

Character: Lou Peckinpaugh

Ann-Margret

Character: Jezebel Dezire

Eileen Brennan

Character: Betty DeBoop

Sid Caesar

Character: Ezra Dezire

Stockard Channing

Character: Bess

James Coco

Character: Marcel

Dom DeLuise

Character: Pepe Damascus

Louise Fletcher

Character: Marlene DuChard

John Houseman

Character: Jasper Blubber

Madeline Kahn

Character: Mrs. Montenegro

Fernando Lamas

Character: Paul DuChard

Marsha Mason

Character: Georgia Merkle

Phil Silvers

Character: Hoppy

Abe Vigoda

Character: Sergeant Rizzuto

Paul Williams

Character: Boy

Nicol Williamson

Character: Colonel Schlissel

Vic Tayback

Character: Lieutenant DiMaggio

Scatman Crothers

Character: Tinker

Arthur Tovey

Character: Old Husband

David Ogden Stiers

Character: Captain

Carole Wells

Character: Hat Check Girl

John Calvin

Character: Qvicker

Barry Michlin

Character: Bandleader

Jonathan Banks

Character: Cabbie

Lew Gallo

Character: Cop

Lee McLaughlin

Character: Fat Man

Zale Kessler

Character: Courier

Wally K. Berns

Character: Floyd Merkle

Bella Bruck

Character: Scrub Woman

Carmine Caridi

Character: Sgt. Crosseti

James Cromwell

Character: Schnell