Mark Wahlberg

Character: John Bennett

Mila Kunis

Character: Lori Collins

Seth MacFarlane

Character: Ted (voice)

Joel McHale

Character: Rex

Giovanni Ribisi

Character: Donny

Patrick Warburton

Character: Guy

Matt Walsh

Character: Thomas

Jessica Barth

Character: Tami-Lynn

Aedin Mincks

Character: Robert

Bill Smitrovich

Character: Frank

Patrick Stewart

Character: Narrator (voice)

Norah Jones

Character: Norah Jones

Sam J. Jones

Character: Sam Jones

Tom Skerritt

Character: Tom Skerritt

Bretton Manley

Character: Young John

Ralph Garman

Character: John's Dad

Alex Borstein

Character: John's Mom

John Viener

Character: Alix

Laura Vandervoort

Character: Tanya

Robert Wu

Character: Asian Man "Ming"

Ginger Gonzaga

Character: Gina

Jessica Stroup

Character: Tracy

Melissa Ordway

Character: Michelle

Max Harris

Character: Greenbaum Kid

Zane Cowans

Character: Kid #1 / Young Ted's Voice

T.J. Hourigan

Character: Kid #2

Owen Clarke

Character: Kid #3

Kristina Ellery

Character: Heavenly

Katelyn Lorren

Character: Cherene

Chanty Sok

Character: Angelique

Sarah Fischer

Character: Sauvignon Blanc

Cassie Djerf

Character: Waitress

Joe Siriani

Character: Guy at Table #1

Pat Shea

Character: Guy at Table #2

Josh Duvendeck

Character: Guy #1

Chris Cox

Character: Guy #2

Henry Penzi

Character: Partygoer (Ted's Buddy)

Tania Cabrera

Character: Girl at Party

Colton Shires

Character: Teenage John

Viera Andrea Moya

Character: Plymouth PR Worker

Heajee Kim

Character: Club Girl

Lydia Hannibal

Character: Ellen

Shawn Thornton

Character: Crazy Guy

Eric Weinstein

Character: Stagehand

Danny Smith

Character: Waiter

Mike Nikitas

Character: Newscaster

Robin Hamilton

Character: Female Newscaster

Mike Henry

Character: Southern Newscaster

Johnny Lee Davenport

Character: Husband

Chris Everett

Character: Wife

Tara Strong

Character: Bellybutton (voice) (uncredited)

Ted Danson

Character: Ted Danson (uncredited)

Ryan Reynolds

Character: Jared (uncredited)

Olivia Jordan

Character: Party Guest (uncredited)

Alexandra Creteau

Character: Club Patron (uncredited)

Emmalyn Anderson

Character: Concert Attendee (uncredited)

John Franchi

Character: Tourist / Pedestrian (uncredited)