Luke Wilson

Character: Joe Bauers

Maya Rudolph

Character: Rita

Dax Shepard

Character: Frito

Terry Crews

Character: President Camacho

Anthony 'Citric' Campos

Character: Secretary of Defense

David Herman

Character: Secretary of State

Sonny Castillo

Character: Prosecutor

Kevin McAfee

Character: Bailiff

Robert Musgrave

Character: Sgt. Keller

Michael McCafferty

Character: Officer Collins

Christopher Ryan

Character: Hospital Technician

Justin Long

Character: Doctor

Heath Jones

Character: Cop #1

Eli Muñoz

Character: Horny Guy

Patrick Fischler

Character: Yuppie Husband

Darlene Hunt

Character: Yuppie Wife

Ryan Ransdell

Character: Trashy Guy

Melissa Sweet

Character: Slutty Girl

Valerie Posas

Character: New Slutty Girl

Wes Davis

Character: Trashy Teen Jock

Andrew Wilson

Character: Beef Supreme

Mark Tuner

Character: Officer

Kevin Klee

Character: Main Character (Ow! My Balls! Guy)

John Dodson

Character: Additional Officer

Melissa Espinales

Character: Counter Woman

Joseph Cheatham

Character: Doctor in Waiting Room

Jason Schaefer

Character: Prison Guard #1 / Costco Greeter

Richard Reeder

Character: Prison Guard #2

Lawrence Castillo

Character: Prison Guard #3

Turk Pipkin

Character: Guy at Costco

Heather Kafka

Character: Woman at Carl's Jr.

Christopher M. Campos

Character: Congressman #1

Roman Ramos

Character: Congressman #2

Randal Reeder

Character: Secret Service Thug

Scarface

Character: Upgrayedd

Brendan Hill

Character: Secretary of Energy

Thomas Haden Church

Character: Brawndo CEO

Melissa Dawn

Character: Female Newscaster

Derek Southers

Character: Male Newscaster

Lidia Porto

Character: Female Reporter

Gregory Kelly

Character: Stadium Guard

Greg Pitts

Character: Cameraman

Jason Konopisos-Alvarez

Character: Cop at Government Center

Mitch Baker

Character: Doctor (with Trashy Guy)

Daniel Smith

Character: Control Room Director

Chris Warner

Character: Cop at Costco

Lonnie Nelson

Character: Trapped Man

Danny Cochran

Character: Secretary of Education

Marcos Martinez Rios

Character: Secret Service Thug #2

Earl Mann

Character: Narrator (voice)

Sara Rue

Character: Attorney General (uncredited)

Evan Miller

Character: Charles Chaplin (uncredited)

Heath Allyn

Character: Prisoner (uncredited)

Erik Anderson

Character: Angry Court Member (uncredited)

Jason Bohn

Character: Hospital Patient (uncredited)

Glori Renee Euwer

Character: Museum Visitor (uncredited)

Evelyn Hurley

Character: One of Upgrayedd's Ladies (uncredited)

Tom Kenny

Character: Carl's Jr. Machine (voice) (uncredited)

Max Kruemcke

Character: Townsperson (uncredited)

T.J. McFarland

Character: Old Man (uncredited)

Jesse Medeles

Character: Peterson (uncredited)

James Moreno

Character: Front Row Juror (uncredited)

Dan Murphy

Character: Congressman (uncredited)

Steve Powers

Character: Townsperson (uncredited)

Stephen Root

Character: Judge Hector "The Hangman" (uncredited)

Lainie Safady

Character: President Camacho's Groupie (uncredited)

Ava Knighten Santana

Character: President Camacho's Groupie (uncredited)

Kati Sharp

Character: Townsperson (uncredited)

Michael Sorrells

Character: Party Guest (uncredited)

Gary Teague

Character: Townsperson (uncredited)

Curtis Wayne

Character: Amusement Park Patron (uncredited)

Caitlin Wehrle

Character: President Camacho's Groupie (uncredited)

Heath Young

Character: Townsperson (uncredited)

Spencer Kayden

Character: Miss Claypool (uncredited)

Samantha Inoue-Harte

Character: Juror (uncredited)

Ryan Melton

Character: Dr. Jagger